In my job, as technical support, it amazes me how many times “Person B” will call in support for “Person A”. I understand this when it is a phone issue. But Susie will call to tell me Sally cannot print. (I know you Mac users never have problems like this, but follow the thought.) My question is what keeps Sally from calling me directly. When I will most likely need to talk to Sally to resolve the issue anyway?
I see this in the lives of people also- a reluctance to admit a need for help. Do we really think we have the world convinced that we “have it all together?” And is “having it all together” really the goal?
I think of Samuel listening to a voice he did not even know… or Abraham going to a land he hand never seem… or fishermen dropping their nets and following Jesus. These men did not “have it all together” and yet they anointed kings, fathered a nation, and started “The Church.”
Maybe God would prefer us to be less “put together” and more moldable. Any dad knows the difference between old and new play-dough. The old is hard and rigid. The new is soft and moldable. I believe that is how God wants to find us.
So back to the question, why is it so hard to ask for help? I know I need help from God, my wife, my kids, my friends and family. So what holds us back from asking God and each other for help?
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4 comments:
Well, Joe--I am impressed! You must have been inspired by our small group conversation.
At any rate, I think our culture encourages people to take pride in their ability to handle things themselves. It is considered a sign of weakness to be unable to handle your own problems.
We buy into the cultural line of thinking much more than we like to admit.
On the flip side, most of like to help others (even if our motives are not as pure as we would like them to be.) It is usually easier to be on the giving end than on the receiving end.
Asking for help means we are not "capable" of taking care of things by ourselves. That's when we show others our weakness. We have been taught through our culture that being weak is "bad." We are suppose to have it all together and portray the image of superhuman! I think this is why being like children coming to Jesus was taught. As a child we are impressionable and moldable. As adults, we have come to believe we are to "act" together and that we have everything figured out.
In our weaknesses, God shows His strength. I think our stubborn pride keeps us from allowing our weaknesses to be shown.
Joe,
I'm so glad your posting again! I love the play dough example and am going to use this with my children. They will probably get tired of hearing it and I'll just tell them to blame you:)
And about the question? I'm with Raleen. Its pride and the desire to "appear" that we have it all together. I think admiting our faults and asking for help is a huge part of how God can purify us and then see his reflection in us as Denise mentioned so well on another post. If only "we" could get out of the way and let him have His way.
I concur...PRIDE...seeded by the master deceiver to trick us in to buying into our worth apart from God. It is God who gives us value, not ourselves.
At the same time, I think we are victims also of a cycle that developed at some point where "righteous" leadership condemned those less righteous. The fear of being accused and condemned creates great motivation for us to lie, hide our sin, and as you say, pretend we have it all together. It's OK if we need help! It is OK if we are totally deficient in an area. It is OK if we miss the mark and sin! Thanks be to God who is a much better at forgiving than we are at being righteous.
Tommy
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